Statement of Y2K Compliance
Posted: Wed Aug 14, 2013 3:39 pmStatement of Y2K Compliance
The date must be in the future!
Like most software developers, I was one of the wimpy unpopular kids in school. We watched the jocks and class presidents marry the cheerleaders and prom queens and go on to become doctors and lawyers and CEOs. Meanwhile, we've been stuck in giant rooms full of cubicles and fluorescent lighting, having our deepest most meaningful relationships with computer hardware and science fiction books. You monkey boys think all you have to do is say "frog" and we cut off our legs and saute them for you.
Well, you know what? We're sick of this. We've been sick of this for fifty years. Wake up, guys. Computer programmers have never been so stupid as to be unaware of the Y2K bug. It's staggeringly obvious that if you only allow two digits for a date you'll have a problem when the calendar rolls over. We deal with bit rollovers all the time.
In case it never occurred to you, we wanted it this way. We've been toiling in this stupid cubicles for fifty years to ensure that civilization does indeed come to an abrupt end on January 1, 2000. Meanwhile, we've got our own worldwide network all set up, we've got our guns and ammunition and MREs, and we're looking forward to a world where we can just take whatever we want.
Oh, and all those optimistic progress bulletins you've been seeing the last few months? Guess who provided the optimistic information? Yup, us again. So don't believe a word of it. Your bank says it's Y2K compliant because the CIO says it's Y2K compliant because all of the developers say it's Y2K compliant because they're all in on the conspiracy. All those overtime hours that you thought we were fixing your software we've been playing computer games and sitting in chat rooms discussing high-powered rifles. And you've paid us to do it, too. Thanks. Meanwhile, you've put off buying all your supplies, haven't you? Ever hear the phrase "false sense of security"? And now it's too late.
Have a nice day.
Source:
The date must be in the future!
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Like most software developers, I was one of the wimpy unpopular kids in school. We watched the jocks and class presidents marry the cheerleaders and prom queens and go on to become doctors and lawyers and CEOs. Meanwhile, we've been stuck in giant rooms full of cubicles and fluorescent lighting, having our deepest most meaningful relationships with computer hardware and science fiction books. You monkey boys think all you have to do is say "frog" and we cut off our legs and saute them for you.
Well, you know what? We're sick of this. We've been sick of this for fifty years. Wake up, guys. Computer programmers have never been so stupid as to be unaware of the Y2K bug. It's staggeringly obvious that if you only allow two digits for a date you'll have a problem when the calendar rolls over. We deal with bit rollovers all the time.
In case it never occurred to you, we wanted it this way. We've been toiling in this stupid cubicles for fifty years to ensure that civilization does indeed come to an abrupt end on January 1, 2000. Meanwhile, we've got our own worldwide network all set up, we've got our guns and ammunition and MREs, and we're looking forward to a world where we can just take whatever we want.
Oh, and all those optimistic progress bulletins you've been seeing the last few months? Guess who provided the optimistic information? Yup, us again. So don't believe a word of it. Your bank says it's Y2K compliant because the CIO says it's Y2K compliant because all of the developers say it's Y2K compliant because they're all in on the conspiracy. All those overtime hours that you thought we were fixing your software we've been playing computer games and sitting in chat rooms discussing high-powered rifles. And you've paid us to do it, too. Thanks. Meanwhile, you've put off buying all your supplies, haven't you? Ever hear the phrase "false sense of security"? And now it's too late.
Have a nice day.
Source:
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http://web.archive.org/web/20031230110241/http://www.larkfarm.com/statement_of_y2k_compliance.htm